The photos presented stem from my experience with love and guilt.

Love

As a young man, saying, "I Love You" to a male family member was foreign. Occasionally, it was said and heard by male family members, but never without hesitation and always accompanied by an uncomfortable cloud over the interaction. We knew we loved each other, but, for reasons I assume to be tied to unconscious toxic masculinity, expressing those feelings was nearly uncharted. It wasn't until my older brother started to verbally express his love for my brother and I that this would change. I have spoken to many young men in my generation, who said they resonated with my experience. I hope this might allow you to reflect on your own experience with love. For me, only after regularly saying the words "I Love You" as an adult without some unspoken and intangible barrier broken down by my brother was I able to reflect on this experience and how it affected my ability to express my love.

Guilt

Today I can't seem to remember what I did the day before unless I made a mistake. My memory of mistakes has always been crystal clear. I feel as if I can remember every time I have hurt someone, myself, or haven't "shown up" as a friend has said. These haunting memories seem only to get more intense with time. I hope to one day be free of this, but for now, I will attempt to share how I feel in a way that feels authentic and raw.

Thank you to Alejandro and Lawrence for helping me to release these feelings tangibly.